Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
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I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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