do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
