the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
