To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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