Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
