I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
