He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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