She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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