My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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