This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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