If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have aggressive nipples.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
