Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
