hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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