He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
