you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You need Xanax blowdarts
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
