Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
