its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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