spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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