the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
nutella sex= disaster
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
