everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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