Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
