I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
