i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize