im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
