redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hippo gnu deer
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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