Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
