After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
