I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
