Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i think i have two assholes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
