Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize