Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
