I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
