i think i have herpe
just one?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
