I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
