Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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