ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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