grandma shit on top of the toilet
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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