hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
