I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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