So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize