we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
