I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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