whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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