I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
