I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
