I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
