I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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