You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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