before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
