just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
