JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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