I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
