pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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