we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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