Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
