Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
is it fun? or sober?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
