put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
