Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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